By Blessing Bess Otobo

I read an article some while ago that Nigerians among many cultures like the Japanese do not have a term for depression, but do suffer depression just as the western culture. The problem is that, many in these other cultures like Nigerians do not talk about depression, because it is considered somewhat of a taboo. As a result of keeping silent, millions suffer alone or are getting treatment only in the most extreme circumstances. I think it is time we place the feelings of vulnerability or righteousness aside and seek help when necessary- especially for parents with dependent children. The reason is, every child needs a healthy parent. When a parent suffers from depression, the entire family suffers with her. When a parent is mentally and physically not present to care for his/her child, the child suffers.
Although, I do understand that some of our Nigerians do not wish to infringe on other people’s space, by talking about their problem, as such suffer depression alone. But, we can no longer keep silent knowing that we can do something about it. I spoke to some Nigerian women in some churches around the area that I live at; many do not want to admit they have experienced any form of depressive symptoms, let alone, are still suffering from it. For the few that understands the implication of depression, some believes there is no help out there for them and do not wish to ask for help, especially among their fellow Nigerians. They say Nigerians do not reach out to each other, and even when it is known that someone may be suffering from depression, depression is perceived as contagious, an ailment to be avoided.
Depression is like a monstrous attack on the psychic, when it hits, the sufferer does nothing constructive, but regurgitate on thoughts that are unhealthy, and consequently making decisions they would not ordinarily make when they were normal.
Unfortunately, depression can be debilitating to sufferers, often the consequences of battling depression alone is costly. In Texas, several years ago, a thirty-six-year-old woman was charged with murder after she confessed to drowning her five children in the bath. Andrea Yates, whose children ranged from six months to seven years, was thought to be suffering from post- natal depression.
In regards to Post- natal depression, it can occur from about two weeks after the birth of a child to two years afterward, and differs from the mood swings suffered by many in the first few days after the child is born.
Depression is thought to be caused by combination of sudden changes and a variety of psychological and environmental factors. Among the people that I spoke to about this issue, a young Nigerian lady professed to feeling hopeless, one of the symptoms of post-natal depression. Her husband had left her for another woman while she was still eight months pregnant. She recently gave birth and is suffering from post-natal depression. Its’ been six months since she delivered her baby. When I asked her how she is feeling, she would say, ‘I am fine’. But I know she is not fine, given the fact that, she complains of feeling hopeless, and wishes she is dead. I had to constantly call her to talk to her. I leaved 45 minutes away, and when I am within her neighborhood, I ask her if it is okay to come and see her. She is often glad that I came to visit.
The reality is, those that are battling depression, like those living abroad, often do not get any form of social support, or contacts because they are alone. The few that do venture outside, like attending church services, don’t voice out their feelings about what they are going through. The Nigerian churches unfortunately, lack resources in confronting or dealing with sufferers of depression, even when in some cases, the pastor of the church is the one suffering from depression.
Some pastors do not wish to reveal their problem for fear of being thought weak in faith. I learnt of a pastor that committed suicide in London, just recently. Half of the church members left the church for another. He is a Nigerian.
A relative of mine, who also is a pastor recently passed without revealing to anyone that he was suffering from depression, an illness that came on after he learned he was dying from cancer of the kidney. I had spoken to him on several occasions, and he never one day told me he was sick or dying. I learned from his wife after he died, that he did not wish to let people know. The truth is, one must not suffer alone. One must do whatever one can to look for help, even when it means been perceived weak. It is better to be perceived weak than to be dead. I honestly would have reached out to my distant relative, even if it means providing little information that could aid him in prolonging his life. Honestly, sometimes, what a sufferer need most, is a support system, and often that is what is lacking among our Nigerians abroad, and at home.
In regards to Nigerians living in America, the problem is that we are scattered across the United States, and as such, when someone is suffering from depressive related illnesses, they suffer it alone. Caroline (not her real name), a 43-year-old Nigerian woman living in Washington, DC, has been battling depression and Lupus for over five years. According to her, in each of her pregnancy, she suffers severe depression. In her case, her husband has been a source of comfort, strength, and also a major contributing factor to her illness. Her husband wants another child, which he hopes would be a boy. But she doesn’t want any more children, and cannot even think about going through another pregnancy term. In fact, because of her fear of being chronically depressed during her pregnancy, she said, she aborted her fourth pregnancy. Yes, this is a fact. Many of our women are suffering from severe depression, and some do not get the help they need.
As for Caroline, she complains of constantly feeling overwhelmed with the house chores, her illness and on top of that, she works a 12-hour shift, 6 days a week job, and feels responsible for taking care of their three girls. Symptoms of depression can range from the mild post birth depression that occurs following about two thirds of pregnancies to the more severe cases, where the mother has to be hospitalized to stop her injuring herself or her baby.
According to the description given in the Abridged Edition of the 4th Volume of Encyclopedia of Psychology, depression is a term used to describe a mood, a symptom, and syndromes of affective disorders. As a mood, it refers to a transient state of feeling sad, blue, forlorn, cheerless, unhappy, and/or down. As a symptom, depression refers to a complaint that often accompanies a group of biopsychosocial problems. Normal depression is a transient period of sadness and fatigue that generally occurs in response to identifiable stressful life events.
The moods associated with normal depression vary in length, and according to the Enclyopedia of Psychology, generally do not exceed 7 to 10 days. Sometimes if the problems continue for a longer period and if the symptoms grow in complexity and severity, clinical levels of depression may be present.
Several years ago, when I suffered a debilitating panic attack, shortly after arriving United States, it was difficult relating to anyone, because of the lack of empathy I experienced. I call it debilitating because, it did render me incapable of standing for a long period time without seating down to rest. I thought I was going to die, and so, in my own naive and innocent manner, I confided in a lady I thought was a friend. She is a Nigerian. Gush, I can still remember how she charged me out of her living room, wagging her finger at me, and telling me, “Please, don’t come die in my house, oh”. She said I was wicked for not revealing to her in time that I was sick.
In fact, she cautioned me to stop using her glass cup, in case I may infect her with whatever illness I was carrying. Apparently, my constant fatigue, dizziness, a symptom of severe anxiety attack, caused her to think I was sick of something. Luckily for me, I found out through watching a television show centered on anxiety disorder that the cause of panic attack is mental- that is, the individual pattern of thinking. I was so grateful for that little, information that I called home immediately to tell my parents that I was okay. When I realized that, it was my pattern of thinking that caused me to be in constant fear, I felt relieved, but for many, they may never know the cause of their problem because of lack of information.
My experienced with panic attack was apparently caused by an episode I had at my place of work shortly after I arrived the United States. My experience has shown me that some of our Nigerians who suffer from depression, especially after experiencing a traumatic life altering events do not know where to turn to, since confiding in someone they know, may not produce the desired results- like positive reinforcement or support.
For me, I was really lucky that I had really wanted to know how to get rid of the constant fatigue and dizzy spell that I experienced- something I now know may have been triggered by the medication I was given after I went to a doctor and complained of chest pain. When I realized that my problem originated from my thinking pattern, I made a complete 360 degree turn around. I was, really relieved when I realized that I was not dying, and that it was my thinking that caused the problem in the first place.
But for many Nigerian women who suffers from anxiety related disorder, or depression, they are unaware of what is causing their illness. They may never know the cause of their illness without help geared toward making them understand the root cause of their problem.