You will agree with me that some of our Naija men do not know how to toast a Naija girl. Some of their approach and mannerism can be so backward and unpolished that you wouldn’t blame some Naija girls for blowing them off.  I don’t mean to exaggerate here, but I think 1 out of 3 Naija men don’t know how to captivate a Naija girl and keep her interested long enough for her to resolve to date him instantly. It is not all about sex you know? There is more to a man and woman than just sex… there is something called relationship- which some men do not care to develop.

Honestly, I think most Naija men lack the romantic spark, especially when it comes to courting a Naija girl. But then, when it comes to courting an African American, or some chic other than a Naija girl, you see the same Naija man doing all the fine, fine things just to woo the woman. So why wouldn’t Naija girls fumble?

The irritating thing about dating a Naija man, for me, is that they lie too much. The last Naija guy I dated was so deceptive, I nearly called the Immigration officer to send his ass back home to Nigeria.  But I would not do such a thing, because that would also make me just as bad.

I cannot stand the lies some Naija men tell to sustain their goal of getting something out of the girl they professed to love. Some would promise to take the girl out to heaven, and marry her, as soon the times come, but the times don’t seem to come, as the girl would wait, and wait, and wait, for him to fulfill his promises.

Why would any girl in her right mind care to talk to a person of such thinking, or one that looks like him? And, jokes aside, some Naija men also come on too strong; almost like it is their God-given right to have the girl. One of the annoying traits of some Naija men is what they do to woo a Naija girl. When you like a girl, take her out, cultivate something called a relationship- it doesn’t always have to be an expensive restaurant. How about taking a walk, or developing a friendship? How about pricking her mind to find out what she is like, find out more about her, what she likes, and doesn’t like.  If you then want to take her out, how about the art gallery, museums, or somewhere like the park, or concert. Must you take her to your house the first time, like some Naija men often do?

I think it is so unromantic to think that the easiest way to entice a girl is by inviting her to your house the first time? Come, on! Even in Nigeria, men don’t rush their girls. Have you forgotten that you have to take the girl and her friends out before she even decides to visit your house alone?

I am not bashing the men here; I know there are good Naija men out there who do their best to win a girl’s heart, because they care, and sometimes often do not get the girl. I am talking about some of the men who think that asking a girl or taking her out, necessitate them to reciprocate by spending time with him in his house.

Wale, you must agree that our Naija men have to step up the game and treat our Naija women as good as they do the African American girl or a white girl. I know of a few here in the U.S that go out of their way to please an American woman. There is a young Naija man right now that is currently still married to an African American woman that treats him like a rag. The funny thing is that the woman has children that might not be his. One child for sure is not his, given that, the girl is mixed- that is, his father is white or somewhere between, and this Naija is certainly not a white man, or mixed.  Honestly, I can empathize with this young man, given that he went through some painful emotional turmoil.  The problem with his kind is that, if this woman were a Naija woman, his family would do everything to dissolve that marriage.  They would call her all sorts of names, and may even think that she is using voodoo to keep him, for him to tolerate her behavior.

Wale, I’m sure the reason your wife took 13 months to date and eventually agreed to marry you was that you finally got it right the 13th month. You must have genuinely, and finally, expressed something pure within you to captivate her. So, what ‘am I saying? Our men need to stop playing this game of foolishness and start acting real. Naija men play too much, and often forget to treat Naija women as good as they would a white woman, or an African American woman.  Although the trend is now changing, it is at a snail pace. To me, it doesn’t matter who you marry; what matters is that you treat your woman with respect and don’t take rubbish either.

A Naija woman would not fumble, if his man is genuine, and truthfully wants her- even when it is a short relationship.  If you don’t like a woman, tell her. If you are not interested in a long-term relationship, tell her.  If a woman is coming on too strong for you, and because of that, you think, you should lie to her, please tell her. Women usually know when a man is genuine, but unfortunately, some don’t, so it would be nice if the man express his intentions. What every good woman wants is a genuine and honest man- I am sure the same expectation goes for men.  Money is not everything you know. Yes, I know there are vain women out there who think money is everything, but that is not true with all Naija women.         

Take the young man that I mentioned here, I knew him the second year I arrived U.S.A when I was so single.  When I first met him, he said, he was not married. He said he moved from Maryland to start a new chapter. Then I found out that he is, really legally married, and has not only two kids, but four. Before the lies, I felt sorry for him and thought I should give him some trial. But when I discovered that he was lying, and had allowed the said woman access to his house, I cut him off completely and changed my phone number.

At the recent Independence Day celebration, I saw him- and he looks like he is doing well, but then, I think he is psychologically scared… given that the woman went outside again to bring in another child that isn’t his. This time, as I listen to his sad tale, I did not feel sorry for him, rather I felt like slapping the stupor out of him- especially for filling my ears with his rubbish tale about the hell he endured in the hands of his African American wife.

So, there are some Yeye men, and if there is anything that might make a Naija girl fume, it is that some Naija men lie too much, and are usually are not straightforward.