On the 24th of June, 2024, her son’s birthday came and went without any communication from him, leading her to suspect that her number had been blocked on his phone. She found it hard to believe he would do such a thing, as nothing of the sort had happened while he was living with her. Although he sometimes answered when she checks on him and then immediately hung up, it was because he was often in his room laying about and she was in hers. The mother now suspects that the person with access to his phone, likely his father, was responsible in blocking her access to him.

She had tried to call her son to wish him a happy birthday, but received no response, and her messages remained unread, which might suggest a block. Her recent calls also went unanswered. She was concerned that her son was being subjected to coercive control and that the social services in Birmingham were siding with the father, whom she accused of leveraging his ethnicity to sway their judgment. She was convinced that there was a deliberate attempt to alienate her from her son, who was diagnosed with ADHD at the age of eight and whom she believed required her care. Nevertheless, the father appeared determined to keep them separated.

Her son only reached out to her on Sundays, a day before his birthday, and that too, only because he required something. She had urged him to call more often to inform her about his well-being, yet he remained unresponsive. The Sunday preceding his birthday, she treated him to an outing, presenting him with a shirt and £25, but he refused any further celebration, as though he had been advised to minimize contact with her.

On his birthday, she attempted to call him, but he did not answer. She followed up with a message, which also went unanswered. This mother is in dire need of assistance, as her son suffers mistreatment by his father, akin to that of a slave. Several individuals, including the Birmingham Transitional team manager, are complicit in isolating her son from her—a scheme in motion since he was eight years old. Her son has been manipulated by his father to inflict pain upon her. One can only surmise the state of her son’s mental health, given his actions towards his mother. His father and associates seem to believe they have succeeded in cornering her, having estranged her from her son by persuading him to enter supported living.

Despite her son being legally an adult at 22, he remains her child, the mother asserts, and should not endure abuse from his father through his manipulation of her son. She believes she is experiencing domestic abuse by proxy and her son is being coercive controlled, yet the authorities who should provide support seem to be failing them; instead, they appear to be enabling the abuser. The mother suspects there is someone in her son’s life monitoring his every move, preventing him from allowing her into his home. They have been struggling with these issues since his birth. The father, having rejected the pregnancy, has not shown kindness to his son, using others to inflict violence upon him. A gym in Birmingham, known as Fearless, is allegedly training the son to act violently, leading to him attacking his mother, a tactic seemingly designed to separate him from her. The mother feels helpless and is reluctant to share her story, but realizes that without speaking out, assistance may never come.

Her son has been silenced for the past 14 years, unable to speak about the abuse and treatment by his father, which has emotionally scarred him and affected his behavior. The mother has been advocating for him, but without his cooperation, she is at a loss on how to provide the help he desperately needs. She is aware that her son has been manipulated for years and is confused about whom to trust. His father took him away at the age of eight, feigning cooperation, but it was all deceit. Since then, her son has been under his father’s influence. Despite the mother’s efforts to speak out, it seems no one is willing to listen or assist her, leading her to wonder if it’s because she is African and black.

It seems as though the Nigerian mother is neglected because she chose to have a child with an English man who did not want the child. The father of her son has denied his son a decent life and the mother a meaningful relationship with her son. Who will assist her? She often wonders aloud if her struggles would be the same if she were white and the father of her son were a Black man.

Written by Bess JT